In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
