Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
