you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize