Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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