you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize