Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
