Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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