Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
