In the future we'll all be gay
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
