Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
