Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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