he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
