You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
