Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
