the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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