Im at strip club and am horny
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize