im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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