Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
