I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
nutella sex= disaster
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
