i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
