HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He shit in the fireplace
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
