I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
