I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
