I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
