Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
this will be a night to untag.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How external is "for external use only"?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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