yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
