That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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