Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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