people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize