I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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