if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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