She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
