If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
