Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
