So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm always down for nudity.
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