Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
