Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
