I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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