i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
