what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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