I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it's great music for shaving your balls
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize