it was like his penis was on wheels.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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