recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
