So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
