Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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