Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
