Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So many bounce houses so little time
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
