i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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