Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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