he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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