i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
