I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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