Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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