worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
