craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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