i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
